124/365 - “I Am No Home To You” - I mentioned yesterday on both twitter and facebook that all of the amazing requests and ideas I had been receiving weren’t being ignored but rather postponed till my vocal chords had healed. Actually what I really said was “everything I sing sounds like a combination of Macy Gray and Axl Rose singing off key”. Its incredibly frustrating to lose your voice when you’re a singer. Its like a pianist with a broken hand. How can you truly create to your best ability when your instrument is basically unobtainable? I don’t mean to toot my own horn but I have a pretty good ear. I’ve been singing since elementary school and muscle memory is something you learn very early. However, this whole strep throat thing has been driving me insane. This is what the past four days have sounded like:
I think of the note I want to sing, breathe, release, and go to sing the expected note BUT either A) nothing comes out but a puff of air or B) a note two steps below comes out. Never, ever in all of my years singing has this happened to me. I hear the note in my head, I can visualize myself singing it, and even where the breath placement should be but the note that comes out is…off. So, I just gave up on singing this week.
I realized I had to heal properly but there was no way that was going to happen if I forced it. So this is my first attempt at singing after a battle with Strep. I’m not AT ALL healed and you can definitely tell on the recording but I wanted to challenge myself to…well…sound bad. Haha! Letting myself sound bad for all to hear means I am letting myself be vulnerable for my audience which is part of the reason I started this project. Heart on my sleeve, yknow?
This isn’t anything fancy. Recorded it with my little macbook mic because I had nothing else with me in Virginia. I’m back to the city so expect something a little more substantial tonight. Thanks for hanging in there listeners. It means the world to me.